sisterhood.

Current Mood: Pensive


if there is someone i love, and someone i hate at the same time, i'd mention about my sister.
..nuh, not my younger sister, but my older sister.
if only you know, blog. so much times we quarelled long time ago. so much tears, so much 'i hate you' came from eachother mouth. and so much pain too.
even tho i didn't really mean that. you know, i've always admired her.
she's a really different version of me. if she came from venus, then i must be from mars. if she's brave than i'm cowardy little kitty. if she's the queen.. i might be the slave instead of the princess.
she's a straight, determined person. once she decided, she won't change her mind. but there's also times when she had to. and she loved to dream.
and not only dreaming. once she dream it, she will definitely make it happen.
i've always envied her, because, if only i could have a little more courage like her.
i'm a crybaby, a loner, cowardy, i am having hard times to say 'no' and nothing last in my mind without getting changed.
if she could, why couldn't i?
and she always be herself, too. it is hard for me to be myself, i barely had no confidence in me.
even tho in the past she had hurted me so deep, and until now almost 50% of my tears i wasted over her.. mainly for the things she didn't agree with me.
well, usually our mind didn't match. so it always happened. she had to scold me now and yesterday.
i always knew she loved me so much, too. there is no other reason she would be wasting her precious time nagging me around.
even tho i didn't told her, sometimes i agreed with her thoughts.. they're usually things which i am afraid to confess, but instead she's telling the others.
and i loved her sense of justice too.. some of my friends even told me they loved her. which is my sister, and i'm so proud of her.
anyway, why i am writing this on my blog?
it's just that i won't forget how different me and her could be.